'Cult Model': A Conversation with 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy' Star, Steven Fales

'Cult Model': A Conversation with 'Confessions of a Mormon Boy' Star, Steven Fales
Steven Fales wants to help you quit your cult habit.

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Photo credit: David Daniels of dav.d photography

The creative force behind the award-winning Mormon Boy trilogy shares his own “obsessive cult disorder” in his latest solo show, Cult Model. After originally writing the piece in 2003 during a ten-week run of his first play at Miami’s Coconut Grove Playhouse, the wholesomely handsome Fales (once a candidate for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints poster boy) performed it as a benefit for the Utah AIDS Foundation.

At the time, reaction within the Mormon community was so hostile that Fales feared he would lose visitation rights with his children if he continued to perform the show. With his kids now grown, the actor has revived the show in order to help audiences learn to think and act for themselves.

Recently I had the chance to speak with the former LDS missionary about the New York City premiere of Cult Model, as well as about his philanthropic work creating the Possibility Foundation.

Stroud: Why the interest in cults?

Fales: I was born into Mormonism, which at the time — in the ’70s — had a lot of cult elements still in it. I have this cult scale like the Kinsey scale, so it’s from 0 to 6. If Mormonism was at a 5 when I was born, it’s about a 3 today. It’s lost a lot of cult elements and become more mainstream.

I’m a huge Landmark Forum person. Landmark really helped me right after 9/11. I was in New York. I’d been escorting. I was in victim mode, and the Forum changed my life. It’s really why I started writing Confessions — I just can’t say enough about what Landmark did. But then I did all the courses, and I got everyone to do it. I hit the cult ceiling where I wasn’t getting any more value.

Stroud: How do you define reaching the “cult ceiling”?

Fales: When you first join a cult, it has the answers. Your life expands; your world expands. You have new language; you have new community; you have new purpose and meaning. You’ve found the answer.

When I first joined the “ex-gay” movement, it had all the answers. The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality was so seductive: it would make me straight. And I bought into it. Man, I told my dad that first night that if I had a million dollars I’d give it to NARTH. That’s how wowed I was. So cults promise you the moon, but they underdeliver. You hit that cult ceiling.

Stroud: The Mormon Church, Landmark, the ex-gay movement — what other groups have you been involved with that you would define as “cults”?

Fales: I’m trying to take the stigma out of the word “cult.” It’s a zealous, religious devotion to a leader, idea, or a particular book. I’ve been involved in the recovery movement and that, itself, can have cult elements. Now, no one wants to admit that, but I can turn anything into a cult.

Stroud: How so?

Fales: Dependency. I want someone to think for me. I could turn my psychiatrist into a cult figure. I’m not a psychologist or a sociologist, but I think all cults are quests for our fathers — not parents — but our fathers.

Stroud: Why fathers and not mothers?

Fales: Cults take the place of daddy without us even knowing. They give us structure.

Stroud: I understand you consider the sex industry a type of cult.

Fales: It’s a cult of sex work. I got out of the sex industry 14 years ago. I feel like when we pay for sex we lower the bar in human relationships.

There are porn czars that do not care about these young, vulnerable young men on the streets — homeless, kicked out of their households. They’re picked up, given a few bucks, filmed, and thrown out. I’m very concerned about human trafficking today. We have some sex work secrets that are really stunting us in our relationships.

Stroud: When you say us are you talking about the entire LGBT community, just gay and bisexual men — or are you talking about everybody?

Fales: I could talk about everybody, absolutely, but we as gay men in our fabulous sex industry have more in common with a young girl who’s strapped to a bed in South Dakota in a human trafficking ring. We just do it a little more fabulous — and we don’t talk about it.

Now let me just say that I am pro-sex. I believe sex should be for fun and for free. I’m also pro-relationship. It’s very hard to develop true emotional intimacy with somebody when we’re paying for sex. It’s a transaction. Everybody gets hurt. Then it gets to an extreme. You bring the drugs in, you know. We need to clean that up.

Stroud: As a former sex worker, you speak with a lot of authority.

Fales: I’ve written extensively about it. We have a world of “sugar daddy” syndrome and the “trophy boy” thing, not unlike the “trophy wife” thing. We as gay men need to lead in equality of our relationships, not the quantity of our partners.

Stroud: What’s the Possibility Foundation, and why did you found it?

Fales: When I was transitioning out of the sex industry, I wanted to write this little play, Confessions of a Mormon Boy. I was broke and scared. I left cold turkey out of the industry. I was in New York and called professors. I told them I was writing a play and asked if they could please help me float for a month. They gave me the time to write a solo play that changed my life. I want to give…

Stroud: Were you in school at the time?

Fales: I reached out to my old professors and my dad. So this is what happened: you know you’ve got to stop. Your life is going out of control. You’ve lost your light. You’ve lost your dignity. You’re trying to restore it, no matter how okay they try to make you feel as a hooker: ‘Oh, you’re great, you’re so great!’

When I saw Nicole Kidman in (the movie) Moulin Rouge — she was a high-end courtesan; she had no freedom; she had no beauty; she had none of the bohemian values, and she was dying — I saw myself. I was a courtesan who was going to die if I didn’t stop.

So, we all need help. Every sex worker, I believe, has a dream that they really want to make happen. I would like to provide scholarships for them, whether for a nice camera or a stand-up comedy workshop. I want to facilitate that through the Possibility Foundation. I want to help sex workers, female and male, achieve their next phase of life and get on with their dreams.

CULT MODEL
Confessions of a Mormon Boy star, Steven Fales, brings his latest comedy to NYC
October 23, 2015 at 7 p.m.
New York City’s Laurie Beechman Theatre (407 West 42nd Street)
For advance tickets, go to www.spincyclenyc.com or click here.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/court-stroud/cult-model-a-conversation_b_8346302.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Open Question: Meeting person for the first time?

Open Question: Meeting person for the first time?
So when I joined my place of education, being LGBT myself I was told about another LGBT person, a few years above, I have seen them wandering around my place of education and they have seen me. A few months later, out of the blue I tried adding them on a social networking site, they accepted. We spoke online once and arranged a date to meet, Now how do I go up and talk to this person without the awkwardness….?

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20151021131009AA5ARee

Awful Political Ad Compares LGBTQ People To Dollar Bills Being Flushed Down A Toilet

Awful Political Ad Compares LGBTQ People To Dollar Bills Being Flushed Down A Toilet

Screen shot 2015-10-21 at 1.26.22 PMConservative lobbyists in Texas have sunk to a new all-time low. They just released what may be one of the most offensive anti-LGBTQ political ads in recent history.

The ad was produced by the antigay group Faith Family Freedom Fund and is in response to Houston’s Proposition 1, a non-discrimination ordinance that would ban employment and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, two criteria not currently covered by federal anti-discrimination laws.

Related: This 5-Person Town Just Adopted An LGBT Non-Discrimination Ordinance Because, Well, Why Not?

“If Proposition 1 passes, you could be fined up to $5,000 for declining to participate in a same-sex wedding or simply objecting to a man using a woman’s bathroom,” the ad inaccurately declares.

(For the record: The new legislation will exempt religious institutions and organizations.)

The ad continues: “Don’t allow the government to flush your money or religious liberties … No person should be punished by the government because of their beliefs.”

Watch the vomit-inducing political ad below. Or don’t.

Graham Gremore

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/7qa9e-Gad-0/awful-political-ad-compares-lgbtq-people-to-dollar-bills-being-flushed-down-a-toilet-20151021

Gay Guy Who Tried on Sexy Halloween Costumes for Mom Has A Message for All the Haters: WATCH

Gay Guy Who Tried on Sexy Halloween Costumes for Mom Has A Message for All the Haters: WATCH

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Earlier this month, we told you about gay vlogger Jack Merridew’s hilarious and adorable video on sexy gay Halloween costumes. In it, Jack tried on five different sexy Halloween costumes and had his mom judge which one he should wear for Halloween. The video quickly went viral, racking up over 400,000 hits. Now, Merridew is back and responding to the haters and trolls who body-shamed and attacked him because of his video.

Said Merridew, “All the hate on this Halloween costume video came from gay men, and it was weird…Come on, gay men. We’re supposed to brothers.” He then quipped, “We’re a big f*cking family. And you can’t choose your family. I’m that brother that you want to get rid of but you know what? You’re f*cking stuck with me.”

RELATED: Watch This Gay Guy Decide Which Sexy Costume to Wear on Halloween–With Help From His Mom: VIDEO

Merridew went on to read some of the hateful comments he received and ended his response with a call to action to stop enabling double standards, focusing on the so-called “gay stereotype” and, finally, to be kinder to one another. Said Merridew,

“Please, please, please don’t become the type of gay man who comments crap like this on other people’s video, Facebook, news articles…don’t be the type of gay guy who puts down other people…Love one other, be nice to one another, help each other out. And let’s as a community attack Kim motherf*cking Davis. And not small little twinkie boys who want to dress like sluts for Halloween, okay?

Amen.

For the record, we think you look great, Jack. And we loved the Halloween video. So don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang.

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We know you won’t.

Watch Jack’s response, below:

The post Gay Guy Who Tried on Sexy Halloween Costumes for Mom Has A Message for All the Haters: WATCH appeared first on Towleroad.


Sean Mandell

Gay Guy Who Tried on Sexy Halloween Costumes for Mom Has A Message for All the Haters: WATCH

WATCH: Will Young's 'Brave Man' is Trans, Naked and Unafraid

WATCH: Will Young's 'Brave Man' is Trans, Naked and Unafraid

British singer-songwriter Will Young just released a powerful video for his new song, “Brave Man,” which follows a young man facing the cruel world as naked as the day he was born. Except when he was born, the young man baring himself to strangers in the video wasn’t assigned male

Through the video, Young, an out gay man, sought to give visibility to transgender men, while also acknowledging that many trans folks are frustrated by people constantly telling them they are “brave” for being themselves. While the artist’s understanding of the transgender experience as simply being born in the “wrong body” may be rather rudimentary, his intentions seem earnest and well-meaning. 

As Young explained in an emotional post on Facebook:

It seems extremely brave to be a man in a woman’s body and then decide to do something about this. As I thought more about it, I realised that there is often coverage of what it is to be a woman in a man’s body, but never to my knowledge the documenting of the opposite (almost a perverted kind of patriarchy). […]

I know that transgender people do not like being called brave. It is something that is innate. Not a choice, but a given. Being a gay man I feel the same. I wasn’t ‘brave’ to come out it was simply what I had to do. […]

In this video we see a man determined to be himself in the face of all adversity from inside and outside. It isn’t brave but, my god, it shows true grit and strength. What a wonderful thing. This video isn’t about selling records or my personal benefit. This video is about taking a moment in time to explore a section of society who stand up for themselves. To tell a story and offer a window through music into someone’s life.

Check out the video for “Brave Man” below:

Les Fabian Brathwaite

www.advocate.com/music/2015/10/21/watch-will-youngs-brave-man-trans-naked-and-unafraid

From Go-Go Boy to Men's Physique Competitor: Steven Rodriguez Shares Secrets of His Strategy

From Go-Go Boy to Men's Physique Competitor: Steven Rodriguez Shares Secrets of His Strategy
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Go-go boy, male fitness model and men’s physique competitor Steven Rodriguez. Photo by Mark Edward Studio

How does a male go-go dancer make the transition from the beat-infused bars of New York’s nightclubs to the muscle-lined stages of men’s physique competitions? For 29-year-old Steven Rodriguez, it’s a natural part of a plan to perfect his body. Born and raised in New York City, Rodriguez started dancing at nightclubs in his early twenties. And whether you call him a go-go boy (although he’s obviously a man) or a male stripper (although he technically doesn’t strip), he’s become a popular sight on the Big Apple’s gay nightlife scene (although he’s straight). Rodriguez’s impressive muscular form has also helped him get some gigs as a male fitness model. And now he’s added a new title to his resume: In October, he won fourth place in the Men’s Physique category in the NPC Brooklyn Grand Prix, a bodybuilding competition.

During a photo shoot I worked on with him for a male model blog called modelJOCK.com, Rodriguez shared the secrets of his success as a dancer and model, and how he’s making his entrance into the world of physique competition.

When did you start working out, and how did you get started as a go-go boy?
I started dancing about seven years ago. Before I started dancing, I started working out when I was about 19 years old with some buddies of mine. It was a nice hobby, and I started liking how I was looking and I got a little more serious about it, and I was like “why don’t I try making some money out of it?” since I was working so hard at it.

You’ve worked with a number of photographers in New York City. How did that start?
Modeling, I’ve been on and off with it. I started getting more serious about it recently cause I’ve been working out a lot harder and my body’s been changing.

And now you’re doing physique competitions too. Why did you decide to start this new activity?
I just want to take my physique to the next level. This is the most challenging thing that I’ve done in my life. It’s pure dieting, exercise, cardio, weight training. Doing this competition and getting involved in the fitness community is very positive. I’d been to shows before and everybody is very supportive of one other; it’s like a whole big family, very supportive and I like that.

Are there similarities between go-go dancing and fitness competitions?
There are some similarities, but I’d say in nightlife there is a lot of negative energy, a lot of shady people that you meet. But there are also a lot of good people. I’ve met very good people like my fellow dancers, some promoters that I’m really cool with. I’ve gotten some photography work, modeling work; I’ve gotten a lot of extra gigs out of it. So it does help, but you’ve just got to be careful who you associate yourself with, whereas with bodybuilding and men’s physique i haven’t run into any negative energy. Everybody’s very supportive, it’s like a whole big family.

Does having a background as a male dancer have a negative effect on your prospects in the world of physique competitions?
For me personally, no, because I don’t really care what people think. There’s no other way to say it. I just do what I want to do with my life, I do what makes me feel good, what makes me happy. I do have people who’ve stopped supporting me and that’s OK, but I do have those who still support me and still follow me and I appreciate everybody’s support.

What do you like best about being a go-go boy?
The best part I would say is you can just go anywhere and basically you don’t have to pay for anything. People just know you and will be like, “come to my party!” and they’ll give you free drinks — well, I don’t really drink — but they give you free drinks, they let you enter for free and treat you like you’re a celebrity. It really feels good.

There must be some negatives too, right?
Some people can get a little over the top and rude. Even when you’re not dancing they will ask questions like, “are you dancing? What are you doing after this?” It’s just a little creepy. You don’t want to be bothered when you’re just hanging out sometimes. But there are some good people who will be like, “hey, I saw you dancing,” they’ll give you a compliment like “amazing job you, have a great body!” and they will ask you for [fitness] tips. Stuff like that makes you feel good.

Speaking of fitness tips, You showed some of your home-made meals and diet tips in a recent live interview on Periscope. how do you stay in shape?
Every day I get up early, do some cardio and cook. Once I started cooking and making my own meals, I started noticing a big difference in my body. I’d say nutrition and getting rest is the most important thing. Working out is about 20, 25 percent of the work. Eating is the most important. Right now I’m eating less fat, more proteins, carbs, veggies — less salt, less sugar. I’ll have a cheat meal like a cheeseburger or pizza once a week, but that’s about it. I only drink water and protein shakes.

You compete in physique but not bodybuilding. In another live Periscope interview, you did some posing and flexing to show the difference between the two. So how is physique competition different from bodybuilding?
With physique, it’s more about having a tiny waist, having nice broad shoulders, nice lats as well, make your “V” taper to make your waist look even smaller. Physique is more about how lean you are versus how big you are compared to bodybuilding. Bodybuilding is more about size, vascularity, fullness. Plus in bodybuilding, they also judge your legs. In physique, they don’t; you wear swim trunks so they’re mostly looking at your upper body. The posing, as well, is different.

Bodybuilding is more like flexing, like front double biceps. Men’s physique is more like you’re standing but not trying to flex too hard — showing the definition, looking at your abs, your waist, how small it is, keep your head up. I’m still working on it. It’s not hard; you’re not on stage for very long, like a few seconds, but it’s the most important thing about the competition. You can look amazing but if you don’t know how to pose and show off your body then you’re not going to place.

What’s your best body part?
I’ve been doing a lot of work. I like my abs, it’s just my waist — it’s hard for me to get it smaller because I naturally have this muscle. I really like my shoulders and my lats. I’m still working on them but they’ve come a long way. And my back has a lot of definition. I’ve been working mostly on my back, shoulders, still working on my waist, my abs. Having broad shoulders and a wide back is good because it makes your waist look smaller. They call that the V taper. So for guys like me who don’t actually have a small waist, if you make the [shoulders] wider it helps to compensate for the waist. Plus, it looks good.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



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