Monthly Archives: August 2015
Acclaimed Musician John Grant Turns His Addictions Into Art
Acclaimed Musician John Grant Turns His Addictions Into Art
The out Brit Award nominee gets candid with The Advocate as the release of his third album nears.
Gina Vivinetto
South African lesbian teen commits suicide after mom beats her
South African lesbian teen commits suicide after mom beats her
A teenager in South Africa’s rural town of Bethlehem has killed herself apparently because of her family’s unwillingness to accept her sexuality.
It all began when the young woman was suspected of smoking, the bereaved mother told news24.com, asking the media not to identify her daughter.
‘My son came to me and said not only was my daughter smoking at the tuck shop, but that she was a lesbian.’
The mother was so angry to learn of the news that once her daughter got in she slapped the teenager and took a belt to beat her.
‘That day I went straight to my bedroom and left her to cry by herself,’ she added.
‘The next morning when I went to look for her, I found her,’ said the mother, who later also found a heart-breaking letter her daughter had written to her that reads – ‘I just wanted you to accept me for who I want to be, mom. I am a lesbian,’
‘That’s when I knew why she took her life and it was too late for me to bring her back,’ said the mother who now lives with guilt over the loss of her only daughter.
‘If only we had been able to talk in a calm manner, but I reacted badly,’ she said. ‘I blame myself for my child’s death.’
According to South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), about eight percent of all deaths in the country may be due to suicide and suicide deaths have more than doubled in the last 15 years.
SADAG said it was extremely important for parents to keep communication open, urging teens and parents alike to reach out for help if they are having thoughts of suicide.
The post South African lesbian teen commits suicide after mom beats her appeared first on Gay Star News.
Derek Yiu
www.gaystarnews.com/article/south-african-lesbian-teen-commits-suicide-after-mom-beats-her/
Tony Abbott slammed over ‘archaic’ stance, urged to see gay love movie Holding The Man by star Ryan Corr
Tony Abbott slammed over ‘archaic’ stance, urged to see gay love movie Holding The Man by star Ryan Corr
Ryan Corr of the Australian movie Holding The Man, has joined fellow actor Jack Black in condemning Tony Abbott over his attitude to marriage equality reforms, calling it ‘archaic’ and challenging the Australian Prime Minister to watch the movie to ‘open his mind’.
The 26-year-old actor best known for the TV-series Packed to the Rafters called the ruling Coalition’s refusal of a conscience vote on marriage equality ‘a disgrace’, as news emerged that the PM is also refusing to intervene between warring ministers.
‘Seventy per cent of Australians, right or left, think people have the right to have marriage equality,’ he said, reported the Sydney Morning Herald. ‘I’m exactly the same.
‘It’s disappointing Tony Abbott could have had the opportunity to be the prime minister that supported people loving who they wanted but instead it’s gone the opposite way’
Corr plays playwright and gay activist Tim Conigrave in Holding The Man, a romantic drama centering on his 15-year relationship with John Caleo (Craig Stott) after they met at a boys school in the late 1970s.
The critically-acclaimed movie opens in Australia in two weeks but there is as yet no detail on overseas release.
Corr hopes the film will make people talk about gay rights, including marriage equality.
‘Hopefully Tony Abbott will go and see it. It might open his mind a bit …
‘It’s archaic. We’re behind the rest of the world in progressive ideas like this. It’s plain and simple: people should have the right to marry and love who they want.’
Watch Holding The Man’s trailer here:
The post Tony Abbott slammed over ‘archaic’ stance, urged to see gay love movie Holding The Man by star Ryan Corr appeared first on Gay Star News.
Derek Yiu
dsc_4591
Love Only at Stonehurst
Catholic Priest: Gay Sex Is Like a Bagel in the Ear
Catholic Priest: Gay Sex Is Like a Bagel in the Ear
That’s one of the images that came up at a conference promoting celibacy for Catholics with ‘same-sex attractions.’
Trudy Ring
www.advocate.com/religion/2015/08/13/catholic-priest-gay-sex-bagel-ear
Gothenburg's LGBT Pride day
LGBT Community Tells Detroit Police: #TransLivesMatter
LGBT Community Tells Detroit Police: #TransLivesMatter
At a meeting scheduled before the latest murder of a transgender woman, Detroit police pledged their commitment to the safety of LGBT people.
Dawn Ennis
www.advocate.com/transgender/2015/08/13/lgbt-community-tells-detroit-police-translivesmatter
8 Words Of Advice For Divorce In Your 20s
8 Words Of Advice For Divorce In Your 20s
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when going through divorce in your 20s. While all your friends are busy planning their weddings on Pinterest, you’re planning a new life without your spouse and dealing with mounting legal bills.
To make the process a little easier, we asked experts — divorce lawyers, psychologists and financial advisors — to offer their best advice. Here’s what they had to say:
1. Chalk the divorce up to a lapse in judgment.
Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like a failure for splitting up in your 20s. Forgive yourself and remember that you were young and maybe a little naive when you said “I do,” said Andra Brosh, a Los Angeles-based psychologist.
“The truth is that you probably landed here because of a lapse in judgment and unrealistic expectations of the relationship,” she said. “Blame it on your brain; some research has suggested that the brain is not fully mature or developed until well into your 20s.”
2. Learn from the mistakes you made in your marriage.
You’re only allowed to sulk about splitting up for so long. Eventually, you need to reframe your thinking and see the divorce as a stepping stone to personal growth, said Antonio Borrello, a Detroit-based psychologist. Ultimately, divorce should teach you what you need to do differently in order to have a healthier, longer lasting relationship the next time around, he explained.
“You’ll still need to work on whatever it was that killed your marriage even after you get out,” he said. “If you don’t, you’ll drag that junk into your next relationship. Develop some insight and take ownership of the part you played in the downfall of your marriage.”
3. Be wary of rebounding.
Yes, you’re still young and Tinder is very tempting, but for your own well-being, it might be best to take a dating and relationship hiatus, said dating coach Neely Steinberg.
“Spend time developing your independence and discovering who you are outside of a relationship,” she said. “Understand that your existence is not validated by you being in a relationship or by another person. You validate you. Once you are good by yourself and you love who you are on your own, then maybe take a small, smart step to move forward again in your dating life.”
4. Consider mediation as an alternative to litigation.
There’s one advantage young divorcés have over those who go through the process later in life: You likely have less marital assets to divvy up (property, retirement accounts, etc.) and no children to shield from ugly custody battles. Given that, you may want to forgo traditional litigation and consider meeting with a mediator to work out the terms of your divorce, said divorce coach Laura Miolla.
“It’s faster, cheaper and gives you far more control over the process and the agreement you end up with,” she explained. “With less to negotiate, mediation is your best path to divorce without the huge bite out of your bank account in legal fees.”
5. Shared debt may complicate the process.
You might not have much property to divide but you may have shared debt. If you split your joint debt (“I’ll be responsible for this credit card, if you’re responsible for that one”), know that complications could arise later, said certified divorce financial analyst Donna Cheswick.
“Where I see problems occur is when one spouse fails to make monthly payments or files for bankruptcy,” Cheswick said. “If this occurs, the creditors can, and will, go after either party to recoup the full amount of the debt, plus interest and penalties. Lenders don’t care what the couple agreed to in their divorce agreement. They see the credit as a legal obligation of both parties and will enforce the debt obligation, regardless of marital status.”
6. Don’t rant about your divorce on social media.
The drama between you and your ex may be as juicy and compelling as an episode of “Empire,” but your Facebook friends really don’t need to hear about it. What’s more, ranting about your ex could cost you big time in court, said Adam Kielich, a family law attorney based in Dallas.
“Social media creates all sorts of problems in litigation,” he said. “It might be satisfying to skewer your spouse in front of friends and family on Facebook but the satisfaction will quickly dissipate if it gets back to your spouse and becomes a conflict in the divorce. You never know what seemingly innocent post or picture might become important evidence in your divorce.”
7. Take comfort in your friends.
When you do need to rant, call up your closest friends and family and bare your heart to them, suggested psychologist Borrello. That said, keep in mind that since your friends are ultimately #TeamYou, their advice may be a little one-sided.
“Your friends and family will instinctually blame your ex,” he said. “Don’t allow that to get in the way of you investigating the dynamics of the failed relationship and the factors that you contributed to the breakup.”
8. See your divorce as a gift, not a failure.
Once you’ve taken accountability for the part you played in your marriage’s downfall, stop obsessing over why it didn’t last and task yourself with moving on, said Miolla.
“There’s no power in endless obsessing, only judgment and shame — two things that will never serve you well,” she said. “Focus instead on what you are learning from this experience — about yourself, about relationships, about love.”
While you’re at it, remind yourself that you shared some really good times with your ex, too.
“Celebrate that you did love. And you will again,” Miolla said. “Use this experience to define what you want for yourself, what you insist on and what you won’t allow in your life anymore. Divorce can be a gift if it teaches you.”
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