News: Donald Trump, Big Brother, Tyler Posey, McDonald’s, Lindsey Graham

News: Donald Trump, Big Brother, Tyler Posey, McDonald’s, Lindsey Graham

road A look at the most trans-friendly companies in America.

poseyroad Teen Wolf star Tyler Posey strips down to his underwear on stage at MTV Fandom Awards. More please!

road Towleroad’s film editor Nathaniel Rogers reflects on the life and legacy of Egyptian film star Omar Sharif, who passed away today at the age of 83. “He was one of the greatest romantic leading men precisely because he seemed so believably in thrall to the particular charismas of his co-stars. And he had great ones: Sophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Julie Christie, Peter O’Toole, Julie Andrews and more.”

road Ariana Grande releases second apology video for Donutgate.

road Watch Liam Hemsworth’s red carpet freak out after mistakenly thinking a reporter called him his brother’s name Chris.

road BET writer Keith Boykin on why he’s not ready to celebrate the removal of the Confederate flag in South Carolina. “The Confederate flag has never represented dignity to Black Americans, and I see no reason why a piece of cloth should have been afforded a luxury never given to South Carolina’s own Black citizens. To drape this flag in the misleading cloak of heritage and southern pride perpetuates a history that has consistently valued property over people, or more specifically, that has valued white people’s property over black people’s lives.”

gbroad First look at the new Ghostbusters gals all suited up for the reboot film.

road Big Brother contestant Jeff Weldon accused of masturbating on fellow housemate under the covers.

road Turns out Donald Trump is still a birther.

road Former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell loses appeal over his public corruption charges.

road Dylann Roof was able to purchase a gun due to an error in the national background check system.

road Office of Personnel Management Director Katherine Archuleta has resigned one day after her agency revealed more than 22 million federal employees had data stolen in a pair of massive cyberattacks.

grrmroad George R.R. Martin teases the beautifully illustrated official 2016 Song of Ice and Fire (aka Game of Thrones) calendar.

road McDonald’s stands by Minions Happy Meal toy after parents complain the figure curses.

road Lindsey Graham says Donald Trump is going to “kill my party.”

road Linda Greenhouse writes for the NYT on the “illusion” of a liberal Supreme Court.”On the eve of the presidential primaries, it’s important that progressives not be lulled by a few welcome decisions into thinking that the court is in safe hands. The court that gutted the Voting Rights Act and hijacked the First Amendment as a deregulatory tool (remember Citizens United?) is, to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, the court we have. It’s not the court we might wish we had.”

road Gay friend of Scott Walker claims the Wisconsin governor isn’t as opposed to same-sex marriage as he seems in public.

road Read the Reese Witherspoon-narrated first chapter of Harper Lee‘s “new” book Go Set a Watchmen.

road Police in Forsyth County, Georgia investigating possible anti-gay hate crime. “According to the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office, no one has been arrested or charged in connection with the vandalism, which most notably included the burning of the homeowner’s rainbow flag on a vehicle in the driveway and damage to a peach tree and front yard.”

The post News: Donald Trump, Big Brother, Tyler Posey, McDonald’s, Lindsey Graham appeared first on Towleroad.


Kyler Geoffroy

News: Donald Trump, Big Brother, Tyler Posey, McDonald’s, Lindsey Graham

'Boulevard' Star Roberto Aguire On Working With Robin Williams In Last Dramatic Role

'Boulevard' Star Roberto Aguire On Working With Robin Williams In Last Dramatic Role

 

It can be a long road to acceptance, particularly when it comes to who you are.

That sentiment is what drives Robin Williams’ character Nolan Mack in the Dito Montiel-directed indie film “Boulevard.” The 60-year-old bank officer has led a lonely life despite his long childless marriage to his wife Joy (Kathy Baker). The couple lack intimacy, not for a lack of love but because Nolan is gay — a fact he has spent most of his life repressing.  

Mexican-American actor Roberto Aguire comes in as Leo, a hustler whom Nolan pays for companionship, not sex, as he tries to come to term with his sexuality. The 27-year-old actor spoke to The Huffington Post ahead of the film’s nationwide release on Friday. Aguire opened up about what it was like to work with Williams in his final dramatic role and why he feels Latino actors shouldn’t be limited by the ‘Latino’ label.

 

“Boulevard” deals with Nolan trying to come to terms with his sexuality after a lifetime of suppressing it. And you portray Leo, a character that becomes a catalyst for all of this. What drew you into the script the most when you first read it? 

[Screenwriter Douglas Soesbe] has a beautifully fluid way of writing dialogue that almost sounds like poetry. So when I read the script, immediately it captured me. I thought it was a story that had to be told.

 There is so much of this topic, especially right now, that’s prevalent in America. But it’s also very hidden in America. I think if you talk to anybody they know a person or they have an uncle, a brother, a son, a cousin who is in a later stage in their life who is coming to terms with who they really are. I think that story has to be told, it has to be shown that it doesn’t matter if you get to a later stage in your life, you can always make a change. You always deserve to find happiness, so that was the second thing that drew me to the script.

 

And Leo also kind of suppresses the reality of being in the dangerous world of male prostitution.   

Leo is this beautiful character who is so complex and so complicated within this dangerous world that he lives in. I don’t think he’s a run-of-the-mill hustler [laughs], to put it that way. He kind of sticks out because he has this innate and hidden sensitivity into life, and almost like [a] childlike innocence that when you see him you just want to give him a hug, you just want to tell him that it’s going to be OK. You just want to tell him to get out of that situation.

But for some reason, he’s stuck and he can’t get out — very much like Nolan’s trapped in something that they’re just not happy with. But I think in Leo’s case it manifests itself in a physical danger and an emotional danger that he’s had to shut down in order to deal with.

 

“Boulevard” was Robin Williams’ final dramatic performance. It’s been almost a year since his death on Aug. 11, 2014. When the news broke many who only knew him through his films mourned him like the loss of a close friend. As someone who had worked closely with him relatively recently, do you recall how you felt the moment you found out?

Yeah, I was in my apartment in Los Angeles and I just remember feeling numb. I think the way you just described the general reaction to his death, which was “the mourning of a close friend,” is a testament to who he was. He had this ability to be able to touch people through every character that he did. Whether it was a dramatic role or a comedic role, after you watch[ed] one of his movies it was like you knew Robin Williams, you knew who he was.

The great thing about Robin is, after you had the chance to meet him, that’s exactly who he was. He was this kind, generous, enormous soul who loved to interact with people — be with people, to show people who he was. I think it speaks so highly of him and his humanity to see the kind of reaction that people had. Everybody around the world just united in this outpouring of love for Robin, and that’s beautiful to see. I think it’s so sad that we all lost such a genius of our time and such a humble and beautiful human being. But it’s beautiful to see how much people loved him, both the people that were close to him and the people that only knew him through his movies.

 

Robin had a very long and successful career both in comedy and drama. What was your biggest takeaway as a young actor working with such a legend?

So much. [laughs] It’s like a young writer saying, “I sat down with Ernest Hemingway and I learned one thing.” It’s like, no way. There’s so much — just to see the level of dedication was amazing. You’d think that a veteran actor working on a small independent project shooting over 22 days would maybe say, ‘you know what, I can maybe phone it in’ or ‘I can take a step back and cruise through this.’ I mean he could have easily with his talent; I think the movie would have still been great. But he showed up 120 percent in every single scene, there wasn’t a single scene that he wasn’t blowing everyone away with his performance. It didn’t matter how small the scene was or how emotionally trying the scene was.

That’s amazing for a young actor to see, that drive [and] that dedication. I think nowadays there [are] a lot of young actors who are very lazy… celebrity-dom has made them lazy because they don’t have to be much of anything to just get in front of a camera and be a personality. To create a fully formed character full of life, struggle and humanity is tough. It’s not easy, and to see someone like Robin do it so effortlessly yet so meticulously precise[ly], it’s truly inspiring.  

 

As a young Latino actor it can be particularly hard to get your foot into this industry. Many find great roles in indie films, like Gina Rodriguez in “Filly Brown.” Where do you hope this opportunity will take you in your career?

I hope that it just opens more doors. It’s interesting, I think as a Latino actor the biggest challenge is being called Latino because immediately the world has a perception of what that means. A Latino actor can’t play this and a Latino actor can’t play that because they’re Latino. Well, no. And I think Gina Rodriguez is a beautiful example of it. We can play anything we want to play. Just as an Aussie can play an American or a Scot can play a Frenchman or a Peruvian can play the world’s leading neurologist, I think Latinos can play anything. We can be anything that we want to be; we can be any role.

I can tell you the huge difference between a Latino and [puts on a Scottish accent] a person from Scotland is you’ll never think that person from Scotland can’t do anything. I put on a Scottish accent and people are like ‘whaaa happened?!’ But it shouldn’t be mind-blowing. Latinos can do anything. I think that’s the biggest issue we’re facing right now, it’s Latinos being labeled as Latinos and being limited by it, as opposed to being labeled as Latino and being empowered by it. I hope that “Boulevard” is able to open a door for me to say, “I’m a Latino actor and I can be a chameleon, I can be anything you want me to be.”  

 This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

feeds.huffingtonpost.com/c/35496/f/677065/s/4804383b/sc/17/l/0L0Shuffingtonpost0N0C20A150C0A70C10A0Crobin0Ewilliams0Eboulevard0In0I7771850A0Bhtml0Dutm0Ihp0Iref0Fgay0Evoices0Gir0FGay0KVoices/story01.htm

Shaggy Has A Novel Approach To Stopping ISIS From Killing Gays (Yes, It Involves Shaggy CDs)

Shaggy Has A Novel Approach To Stopping ISIS From Killing Gays (Yes, It Involves Shaggy CDs)

20140725_tgf_shaggy01Hey United Nations, are you listening? Because Shaggy — yeah, ’90s Boombastic Shaggy — has some pretttty big ideas when it comes to stopping ISIS from killing gays and, well, generally doing other terrible things.

But please, Mr. Ban Ki-moon, President Obama, other dignified world leaders — you’ve got to keep an open mind.

It’s a two-point plan, really.

Step one: get Jamaican weed to the self-proclaimed Islamic State.

Hear him out: “They need to bag some Jamaican weed and distribute it amongst ISIS. I guarantee there won’t be any more wars out there. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love,” Shaggy recently told the New Miami Times.

Seems pretty rock-solid to us. Now we know what you’re thinking — they’re going to want something to do with all that free time now that they’ve chosen to indulge in all that Jamaican herb.

Well that’s the genius of step two: send over a few Shaggy CDs. We’d obviously recommend starting with Pure Pleasure (1993), enjoying a main course of Boombastic (1995), and finishing up with 2000’s Hot Shot for dessert.

“If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.”

Again, hats off.

We’ll leave you with this trip down memory lane, which true to his word, does not make us want to cut anybody’s head off:

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/1AdFt95nxdg/shaggy-has-a-novel-approach-to-stopping-isis-from-killing-gays-yes-it-involves-shaggy-cds-20150710

Vice President Joe Biden Offers Powerful, Poignant Speech Celebrating the SCOTUS Marriage Ruling: WATCH

Vice President Joe Biden Offers Powerful, Poignant Speech Celebrating the SCOTUS Marriage Ruling: WATCH

Joe Biden

Vice President Joe Biden offered a captivating speech on the fight for marriage equality at a Freedom to Marry event last night in New York City. Biden was introduced by Evan Wolfson, the founder and president of Freedom to Marry, who lauded the VP for being out front on marriage equality.

Biden, as you will recall, spoke about his support for gay marriage in a Meet the Press segment days before President Obama announced his own evolution, spurring more than a little bit of controversy. Biden has suggested that marriage equality will be his legacy

The Vice President spoke about how understanding that same-sex marriage is a civil right came from his father, early on as a teenager. Biden was driving his dad to work one day and picking up a job application for himself when they witnessed something unusual for that era:

And as we were stopped at the light, two men on the right — very well-dressed men, obviously, business people working for either Hercules or DuPont turned and embraced one another and kissed each other.  And they went their separate ways.

I’ll never forget.  I turned and looked at my dad, just looked at him.  And I’ll never forget what he said.  He said, Joey, they love each other.  It’s simple.  (Applause.)  They love each other.  It’s simple.

And Biden praised gay people for the struggle:

And it’s always been — the reason I’ve been so confident, it’s always been a simple proposition.  But it hasn’t been simple for a lot of you, especially those of you who are older.  Pursuing this simple proposition for many of you standing in front of me took courage.  It took moral courage, but it took physical courage — physical courage.

As you came out and stood up and made your case, unlike me, you risked a great deal.  I risked nothing holding this position I’ve had for so many years.

Finally, Biden also said that we must be vigilant about ending the discrimination that still exists and making people aware of it:

Just as the courage of gay and lesbian, transgender, bisexual women and men to stand up long ago and say, this is who I am, is what made ordinary Americans realize there’s nothing abnormal about this — these are people I know, people I love, people I care about — I believe right now — I don’t believe the American people, for that matter the people in those states — I don’t believe they even know it’s possible that you can be fired because you are gay or lesbian.  And I am absolutely confident that when the people and organizations in this room, and the President and I take this fight to the American people, we will win because all we have to do — all we have to do is let them know what the law allows now.

If you think I’m kidding to go any one of those states when you’re on business.  Ask at a train station or at an airport or when you’re having lunch, can someone here in this city be fired just because they’re gay?  I lay you eight to five you’ll get an answer, no, that can’t happen.  They don’t even know.

But once people realize this will end, as well.  So we have to raise the issue up.  We have to expose the darkness to justice.  As the great Justice Brandeis once said, disinfectant — the best disinfectant is sunlight.

Listen to the full AUDIO and read the transcript below:

Transcript:

REMARKS BY VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN

AT FREEDOM TO MARRY CELEBRATION OF VICTORY

Cipriani Wall Street, New York, New York

THE VICE PRESIDENT:  Let me begin by saying I take full credit for Evan.   (Laughter.)

Evan, you’ve done an incredible job.  You really have.  (Applause.)  And not only your passion, but your incredible intellect and your tactical and strategic capability.  This has been — it’s wonderful to show up at a place that’s happy to be going out of business.  (Laughter.)

I’m here with Valerie Jarrett.  Valerie?  I don’t know where Valerie — (applause) — who is a great, great friend.  And my old buddy Kasim — Kasim Reed.  Are you here, Mr. Mayor?  Well, I’ll tell you what he is a standup guy.  And I’m delighted he’s here as he led mayors along with my adopted mayor in Philadelphia and others to stand up when — before it became — now it’s popular for everybody to stand up, which is a good thing.  It’s a good thing.  (Laughter.)  It’s a good thing.

But again I say I’ve never been so happy to be with an outfit that’s going out of business.  In fact, I was so confident, Evan, that you were going to be going out of business that I actually rescued one of your former employees, Kirsten Lance, who now works for me because I was worried.  I knew she wouldn’t have a job very much longer.  (Laughter.)  And she’s with me tonight, too.  I hope she reacquaints herself with a lot of her old friends.

I just want you to know that I really do think that it is an incredible job that you’ve all done.  Even when Evan was my intern back then, Evan did a great job.

This has been a heroic battle, but it has been based on a very simple proposition best expressed at least to me by my dad when I was a 17-year-old kid.  My dad was one of those — as the Irish say, the highest compliment you give someone is he was a good man.  My dad was a good and decent man.

And I was — I learned early on I didn’t like digging ditches in the summer with construction crews so I became a lifeguard.  (Laughter.)  But they paid a lot more money.  I was in a county system, in a county pool.  And they paid more money in the city.  And so my dad on the way to his job in the morning, and this — if you know anything about — you probably don’t — my city of Wilmington, there’s a place called Rodney Square.  And the buildings surrounding Rodney Square were the DuPont Company; the Hercules Corporation, which was big then; and ICI Americas, and so there were a lot of plain grey suits.  And an awful lot of — at 8:00 in the morning, an awful lot of men and women hustling off to work.

But the courthouse is in that square.  And my dad pulled up to let me run out and get an application for this job in the city, and then I was going to drive him to work and drive myself home.

And as we were stopped at the light, two men on the right — very well-dressed men, obviously, business people working for either Hercules or DuPont turned and embraced one another and kissed each other.  And they went their separate ways.

I’ll never forget.  I turned and looked at my dad, just looked at him.  And I’ll never forget what he said.  He said, Joey, they love each other.  It’s simple.  (Applause.)  They love each other.  It’s simple.

That’s what this has been all about from the beginning.  It’s never been that complicated for me because of the parents who raised me.  That’s why I didn’t have any problem — I had some political problems — but I didn’t have any problem.  (Laughter.)  And I didn’t have any problem with the President directly and honestly answering that question on “Meet the Press” that you showed.  (Applause.)

Now, here — I don’t say that for a reason.  Because look, I got involved in public life because of civil rights.  This is the civil rights movement of our generation.  This is what — this decision is as consequential as Brown vs. the Board.

And it’s always been — the reason I’ve been so confident, it’s always been a simple proposition.  But it hasn’t been simple for a lot of you, especially those of you who are older.  Pursuing this simple proposition for many of you standing in front of me took courage.  It took moral courage, but it took physical courage — physical courage.

As you came out and stood up and made your case, unlike me, you risked a great deal.  I risked nothing holding this position I’ve had for so many years.

In 1983, there was a Harvard Law essay making the constitutional case for marriage equality written by a young man, who wrote, and I want to quote.  He said, “Human rights illuminate and radiate from the Constitution, shedding light on the central human values of freedom and equality.”

That was the basis upon which I took on Judge Bork.  (Applause.)  No, no, let me explain because this is an important proposition.  Judge Bork and many conservatives, justices, and he was a brilliant man and a brilliant judge and a brilliant professor.  But he believed there was no such thing as any un-enumerated right in the Constitution.  Unless it was stated in the Constitution, it did not exist as a constitutionally protected right.

And I remember the opening exchange he and I had.  I hadn’t thought about it till I saw your comments.  We started the debate in the opening round, and I said, Judge Bork, I’m going to characterize your position on constitutional interpretation and you tell me if I’m wrong.

And I said, you believe all the rights I have as an American, a human being emanate from the Constitution.  And if they are not stated, I do not possess that right.

And he said, that’s right.

And I said, well, I believe I have certain inalienable rights merely because I’m a child of God — just because I exist.  The government has given me nothing.  Given me nothing.  They’ve just guaranteed to protect what I’m guaranteed as a human being to have.  All human rights, all human rights illuminate and radiate from the Constitution.

That’s what this is all about.

These were not words from an illustrious Supreme Court Chief Justice.  These are the words of your institution’s founder.  These are the words written by Evan Wolfson when he was in law school.  (Applause.)  Pretty courageous for a 26-year-old kid at Harvard Law School when the future looked so dark and lonely.

It took courage like many of you have demonstrated.  And like him so many of you have done so much for so long.  The last five or six years where I go within the community I’m being thanked, you don’t owe me or Valerie or the President or anybody any thanks.  No, no, no, you don’t.  We owe you.

It’s hard for me to imagine the sense of accomplishment you must feel.  Over the years in their homes, on our staffs, in the front lines of war, in houses of worship, Jill and I have known, stood with, supported countless gay and lesbian, bisexual, transgender Americans who share a love for their partners that up until now was constrained only by social stigma and discriminatory laws.

But the work all of you have done, laying the groundwork for the Supreme Court decision — their love, your love — it has been set free.  It has been set free like it never has before in America.  In fact, because of you — and I mean this sincerely — in my view if you check the history of the Supreme Court, the country has always been ahead of the Court — always been ahead of the Court in every major reaffirmation or assertion of a basic human right.

In my view the Court’s decision was inevitable because of you.  The Court had no choice in my view based on an accurate reading of the Constitution, but it also had no choice because the social mores of the country support the position you’ve taken.

I’ll say it again, in the process of this long struggle that began before my father uttered those words to me “they love each other,” there was a heavy cost, a heavy price paid by so many who went before.  I want you younger people here to understand the shoulders you’re standing on.

Your courageous efforts not only set you free and the LGBT community free, but it freed millions and millions of straight women and men.  (Applause.)  It freed them in a way — most people, it’s human nature, they don’t want to speak out against social convention.  So many remain silent for fear of being ostracized.  You set them free from the stigma that they feared, that they bear supporting the rights of their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, roommates, neighbors.

As Valerie and others can tell you — and I think Evan can tell you — I believed from the beginning not only did the social disapprobation of society keep so many in the LGBT community from coming forward, it also intimated millions of straight people who didn’t have a homophobic bone in their body.  But now they’re free, as well.  They didn’t have the courage you have.  But they are free, as well.  (Applause.)

And by the way, those discussions with your straight friends, those discussions — ask them, they feel liberated and they no longer feel guilty.

Twenty years ago at a business lunch in this city if a gay waiter came up with a lisp and said, what will you have, and one of the people at the luncheon said, well, let me tell you what I’ll have, no one would have said anything.  Today that man or woman would not be invited back to lunch.  It’s a big deal.  (Applause.)

As I said back in May of 2012, I believe a majority of the American people agreed with me and agreed with you years before this decision was made.  But now it’s settled.  It’s settled in law.

But as you know better than anything, although this is a gigantic step toward equality, there are still many more steps that we have to take and so much more to do.  (Applause.)

You’re probably saying, why did Biden talk so much about where the American public is?  Because of the next issue I want to mention with you, and I’ll only keep you a couple more minutes.  (Laughter.)

Although the freedom to marry — and for that marriage to be recognized in all 50 states — is now the law of the land, there are still 32 states where marriage can be recognized in the morning and you can be fired in the afternoon.  (Applause.)

Just as the courage of gay and lesbian, transgender, bisexual women and men to stand up long ago and say, this is who I am, is what made ordinary Americans realize there’s nothing abnormal about this — these are people I know, people I love, people I care about — I believe right now — I don’t believe the American people, for that matter the people in those states — I don’t believe they even know it’s possible that you can be fired because you are gay or lesbian.  And I am absolutely confident that when the people and organizations in this room, and the President and I take this fight to the American people, we will win because all we have to do — all we have to do is let them know what the law allows now.

If you think I’m kidding to go any one of those states when you’re on business.  Ask at a train station or at an airport or when you’re having lunch, can someone here in this city be fired just because they’re gay?  I lay you eight to five you’ll get an answer, no, that can’t happen.  They don’t even know.

But once people realize this will end, as well.  So we have to raise the issue up.  We have to expose the darkness to justice.  As the great Justice Brandeis once said, disinfectant — the best disinfectant is sunlight.

So I want you to know this next door is going to be a hell of a lot easier to push open as long as we expose to average Americans the injustice that continues to exist.  So let’s all recommit to shine a blazing light on the ugliness of employment discrimination.  (Applause.)  It matters not just for the millions of American families.

Along with marriage equality, it matters that we use the power of our example to force — as a force for global human rights, to be a champion of LGBT rights around the world.  This is also has a significant foreign policy dimension.  Finally, finally.  (Applause.)  No, no, finally our actions are matching our stated values.  (Applause.)

So, ladies and gentlemen, the next fight will not take as long.  And let me close with this story.  I took my — three of my grandchildren to the World Cup, the Women’s World Cup Finals in Vancouver.  (Applause.)

And afterwards we had the privilege and honor of walking out on the field with our team and meeting all the women on the team.  We observed two remarkable things.  One was the incredible athletic prowess our or women’s national team that won their third national — world title.  (Applause.)

But two, and equally as consequential, we watched maybe the greatest women’s soccer player of all times, Abby Wambach — (applause) — standing there with flag in one hand, and her arm around her wife, giving her a kiss in the other hand.  (Applause.)   That was reason to celebrate.  It was just as normal as countless other times you’ve seen that happen.  (Applause.)  Harvey Milk was right, hope is never silent.

So I say in America, justice can never be permanently repressed.  It always needs and will be set free.  Congratulations.  Now, shine a new light.  (Applause.)

The post Vice President Joe Biden Offers Powerful, Poignant Speech Celebrating the SCOTUS Marriage Ruling: WATCH appeared first on Towleroad.


Andy Towle

Vice President Joe Biden Offers Powerful, Poignant Speech Celebrating the SCOTUS Marriage Ruling: WATCH

Can We Just, Like, Get Over The Way Women Talk?

Can We Just, Like, Get Over The Way Women Talk?
This post originally appeared on The Cut
By Ann Friedman

Like, have you ever noticed that women apologize too much? Sorry, but just humor me for a second here. What if, um, how we’re speaking is actually part of what’s undermining us in the workplace, in politics, and anywhere in the public sphere where we want to be taken seriously? I think it could be time for us all to assess how we’re talking. Does that make sense to you, too?

It makes sense to tech-industry veteran Ellen Leanse, who explains that women overuse the word just, which sends “a subtle message of subordination.” Essayist Sloane Crosley and comedian Amy Schumer tell us not to say “sorry” so often. A career coach warns the readers of Goop that women use too many qualifiers (“I’m no expert, but …”), which undermine their opinions. Radio listeners complain of “vocal fry” that makes it impossible to listen to women. And according to a Hofstra University professor, women who suffer from upspeak — also known as “Valley Girl lift”? — reveal “an unexplainable lack of confidence” in their opinions when they turn declarative sentences into questions.

As someone who’s never been shy about opening her mouth and telling you exactly what she thinks, this barrage of information about the problems inherent in women’s speech has me questioning my own voice. Here I am, thinking that I’m speaking normally and sharing my thoughts on campaign-finance reform or the Greek debt crisis or the politics of marriage, when apparently the only thing that other people are hearing is a passive-aggressive, creaky mash-up of Cher Horowitz, Romy and Michele, and the Plastics. I’m as much a fan of these fictional heroines as the next woman, but I want people to hear what I’m saying and take me seriously.

At first blush, all of this speaking advice sounds like empowerment. Stop sugarcoating everything, ladies! Don’t hedge your requests! Refuse to water down your opinions! But are women the ones who need to change? If I’m saying something intelligent and all a listener can hear is the way I’m saying it, whose problem is that?

“All the discussion is about what we think we hear,” the feminist linguist Robin Lakoff tells me. Lakoff is a professor emerita at the University of California, Berkeley, and, 40 years ago, pioneered the study of language and gender. “With men, we listen for what they’re saying, their point, their assertions. Which is what all of us want others to do when we speak,” Lakoff says. “With women, we tend to listen to how they’re talking, the words they use, what they emphasize, whether they smile.”

Men also use the word just. Men engage in upspeak. Men have vocal fry. Men pepper their sentences with unnecessary “likes” and “sorrys.” I haven’t read any articles encouraging them to change this behavior. The supposed distinctions between men’s and women’s ways of talking are, often, not that distinct. “Forty years after Lakoff’s groundbreaking work, we’ve learned that all such generalizations are over-generalizations: none of them are true for every woman in every context (or even most women in most contexts),” writes feminist linguist and blogger Debbie Cameron. “We’ve also learned that some of the most enduring beliefs about the way women talk are not just over-generalizations, they are — to put it bluntly — lies.” Maybe we don’t sound like a pack of Cher Horowitzes after all.

Still, I care about good diction — I want to be heard and understood. When I’m writing, it’s easy to do a control-F for “I think” and delete all of the wishy-washy words that are diluting my opinions. When I’m speaking, it’s much harder to notice which linguistic tics I exhibit. And until I started co-hosting a podcast, I was fairly oblivious to my own vocal patterns. Then the emails and tweets started rolling in, advising me and my co-host that we would sound a lot smarter if we could just pay a bit more attention to our speech. The list of complaints mirrors the advice-driven articles I’ve seen scattered over the internet lately. “Fingernails on a chalkboard,” wrote one reviewer on iTunes. “One has up-talk, the other has vocal fry and both use the word like every frigging third word… These are the ladies Amy Schumer goofs on.”

It quickly became apparent that if we were to take the advice of all of our detractors — carefully enunciating, limiting our likes, moderating our tone to avoid vocal fry — our podcast would sound very different. It would be stripped of its cadence and its meaning; it would lose the casual, friendly tone we wanted it to have and its special feeling of intimacy. It wouldn’t be ours anymore. “This stuff is just one more way of telling powerful women to shut up you bitch,” says Lakoff. “It makes women self-conscious and makes women feel incompetent and unable to figure out the right way to talk.” She adds, “There is no right way.” Especially if you want to sound like yourself, and not some weird, stilted robot.

Indeed, as with salary negotiations in which women are damned if they don’t ask for a raise and penalized for being overly aggressive if they do, tweaking speech to be more direct and less deferential comes with its own consequences. “When women talk in ways that are common among women, and are seen as ineffective or underestimated, they’re told it’s their fault for talking that way,” the linguist Deborah Tannen, who’s written several best-selling books about gender and language, told me. “But if they talk in ways that are associated with authority, and are seen as too aggressive, then that, too, is their fault when people react negatively.” Asking women to modify their speech is just another way we are asked to internalize and compensate for sexist bias in the world. We can’t win by eliminating just from our emails and like from our conversations.

Lakoff argues that the very things career coaches advise women to cut out of their speech are actually signs of highly evolved communication. When we use words like so, I guess, like, actually, and I mean, we are sending signals to the listener to help them figure out what’s new, what’s important, or what’s funny. We’re connecting with them. “Rather than being weakeners or signs of fuzziness of mind, as is often said, they create cohesion and coherence between what speaker and hearer together need to accomplish — understanding and sharing,” Lakoff says. “This is the major job of an articulate social species. If women use these forms more, it is because we are better at being human.”

Language is not always about making an argument or conveying information in the cleanest, simplest way possible. It’s often about building relationships. It’s about making yourself understood and trying to understand someone else. As anyone who’s ever shared an inside joke knows, it’s fun. This can be true even at work or in public — places where women are most likely to be dismissed because of the way they speak. To assume that our verbal tics are always negative is to assume that the goal of all speech is the same. Which of course is patently ridiculous.

Maybe women are undermining themselves a bit when they, like, speak in a way they find more natural. But only in the sense that they are seeking to articulate their thoughts more authentically and connect more directly with the people listening to them. Next time I read some advice from a podcast listener or from some self-styled expert on the internet about how women are too creaky-voiced, too apologetic, or using a word too much, I know exactly how I’ll respond: As if.

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This stained glass window can charge your phone

This stained glass window can charge your phone

Solar power is still gaining momentum, be it in the form of roof-mounted solar panels or portable cells used to charge your phone.

But as environmentally friendly and efficient as solar energy may be, kitting your home out doesn’t make for the most attractive sight.

Cue the Current Window by Dutch designer Marjan van Aubel, which is very much a high-tech version of a classic stained glass window.

Devices can be charged via USB ports integrated into the window ledge.

Devices can be charged via USB ports integrated into the window ledge.

Described as ‘an example of energy-harvesting in a natural and aesthetic way’, the design is part of the van Aubel’s Energy Collection.

The colored glass pieces, made from Dye Sensitised Solar Cells, generate electricity from daylight by essentially imitating the process of photosynthesis.

In plants, shades of green chlorophyll absorb light – for the current window, the cells use properties of different colors to create an electrical current.

While the windows can’t provide enough energy for a whole household, they create enough to power various electrical appliances; integrated USB ports in the window ledge enable users to charge phones or other devices.

 

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Stefanie Gerdes

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