Monthly Archives: July 2015
13 Women On Why They Quit Online Dating To Find Love IRL
13 Women On Why They Quit Online Dating To Find Love IRL
When online dating works, it can be a great way to connect with lots of people you wouldn’t have otherwise met. But when it doesn’t, the experience can send you down the everyone-is-awful-so-I’m-probably-dying-alone spiral.
Despite its popularity, not everyone’s experience with online dating is positive. Plenty of women are opting out of the “efficiency” of the swipping world, instead choosing to find a date the old-fashioned way.
So what exactly is driving these daters to delete their profiles? We asked the members of our Facebook community why they left online dating to find love IRL. Here’s what they had to say:
1. “Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile.”
“I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. When I would see something in a guy’s profile that he liked in a woman, I would think ‘Hey! That’s me! Maybe? Is it? Yeah!’ I would try to edit my profile to be what I thought guys wanted. I would type, delete, type again, delete, etc., like I didn’t know who I was in real life. Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile, and I decided it wasn’t worth the stress and sacrifice of losing and/or hiding who I am.”
2. “There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies.”
“I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. Or men that were so self-focused. Everything was scheduled and planned forever. There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies. What’s the point? I’d rather meet a great guy randomly and organically than deal with the constant rejection and exhaustion.”
3. ”Everything feels forced.”
“You just don’t get that spark that you do when you know you like someone and it’s instant and wonderful. With online dating, everything feels forced. It’s like you try to put a face to the person you’re talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity. You really have no idea who they are and what they’re about or if you have any chemistry. You’re just asking these basic questions wondering when it’s cool to really be yourself. But that’s the thing — you can’t really be yourself online.”
4. “It required a lot more time and energy than I expected.”
“Online dating gave me exactly what I wanted: practice going on dates with strangers and trusting my instincts about the men I met. What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping. There was nothing romantic or spontaneous about it, and it required a lot more time and energy than I expected. I recommend online dating for practice if you haven’t dated in a while, but ultimately, I think the chances of meeting someone great are small and require a whole lot of effort.”
5. “Some are weird, some are looking for kinky sex partners and some are wacko.”
“I’m a Baby Boomer who never thought she’d be single at 60. I’ve tried online dating sites — a lot of them! I met one guy from California that I flew out to spend time with only to learn he was looking for a woman to support his lazy behind. Actually, that’s what I found most times. Or they are sick and want a woman to be their nurse. No, thank you! Some are weird, some are looking for kinky sex partners and some are wacko. I’ve decided that I’m better off alone — eHarmony.com, Match.com and Ourtime.com can get rich off someone else’s money, not mine.”
6. “I got a stalker.”
“I got a stalker. My warning to women: If you have a unique name, do not post your first name or even your last initial on your profile ANYWHERE (even in your user name). Do not post your age, and if you live in a smaller town or city, say you live in the closest big city to you. My stalker situation wasn’t as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I’m glad I did.”
7. “Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons.”
“I just got tired of all the annoying messages I was receiving. Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons, fantasies and other weird comments/questions. It got to the point where any message at all would just annoy me.”
8. “I would get between 30 to 50 messages daily, and maybe two or three were normal conversations.”
“I would get between 30 to 50 messages daily, and maybe two or three were normal conversations from normal-seeming guys. Most were complimenting my appearance and asking for sex. A few dates resulted in attempted rape, a ‘stage-5 clinger,’ and a bunch of insecure guys who ended up telling me I was a ‘teasing whore’ when I didn’t feel a connection.”
9. “Men online are crass and crude.”
“Men online are crass and crude. It’s worse than being at a bar with the unsolicited dick pictures and sexually charged introductions — ‘You look like you take it up the ass.’ Men have become bolder and not in a good way. They are able to hide behind gadgets and feel that they can be completely disrespectful. Also, when you tell men you aren’t interested, they respond with, ‘Whatever, bitch, you’re ugly anyway.’ to which I responded, ‘I was ugly when you initially sent me a message, prick.'”
10. “You have to be a complete drop-dead gorgeous show-stopper to get anything out of it.”
“You have to be a complete drop-dead gorgeous show-stopper to get anything out of it. My friend is a fitness instructor, she was dating someone within a week. I have yet to get a date after trying four options. Guys would chat with me, then disappear, never to ask me out. I even tried starting conversations. I finally had a date set up after my sister secretly signed me up and landed him, and he didn’t show. It’s too artificial — you’re judging solely on looks.“
11. “I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut.”
“I gave up on online dating, because I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut. I replied with, ‘If you can’t tell the difference between a man and woman, there is no hope for you and you should probably delete your profile.’ I then received the response, ‘I’m just saying…there are some he-she’s on here and you gotta be careful.“
12. “Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me and/or avoid the question.”
“I had been messaging with a very attractive man who said he was a firefighter, which is my weakness. We spoke for a while, but something did not feel right as I was talking to him. Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me and/or avoid the question. I got the idea to try and figure out how to reverse image through Google, dropped his picture in and bam — the pictures were linked to an Instagram account in England of a semi-famous personal trainer. Every picture he ever used was from this site, and I immediately felt violated and betrayed. I reported him, blocked his number, deleted any account I could think of that may have my information on it in the online dating world and swore off of it for good.”
13. “Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger.”
“I’m 47 and I have a 5-year-old, so I’m not your average middle-aged woman. Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger, or if they are my age, they want someone who doesn’t have young kids. Being in this age bracket, I tend to get interest from men that are in their 50’s and 60’s — generally not what I’m looking for. Also, I found that it was mostly guys looking for hookups or married guys that wanted to fool around. I received one unsolicited dick pic and I was done.”
Also On HuffPost:
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Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast
Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast
Caitlyn Jenner has been getting widespread praise for making her new docu-series I Am Cait about educating the world about transgender issues.
Raven-Symone seems to have a problem with that.
‘When I came out, I didn’t go and go hardcore and be like, “I’m going to save the world for LGBT,”‘ The View co-host said on Monday’s episode of the talk show.
‘You’ve got to learn it. You’ve got to learn it first, and she’s not, really.’
The former Bruce Jenner re-introduced herself as Caitlyn on the cover of Vanity Fair on 1 June, two months after confirming she is transgender in an interview with Diane Sawyer.
Symone, 29, came out in 2013 and is in a relationship with a woman but does not identify herself as lesbian or bisexual. Instead, she prefers to be known as a human who loves humans.
‘Beforehand, I was definitely repping the community, even when I wasn’t saying this is what I was. And I’m not faulting you because yes, we need you. It’s too fast, too soon.’
Symone says she herself is not a gay rights activist: ‘I can’t be. I learned from the real gay rights activists. I can only do what I can.’
The post Raven-Symone, 29, thinks Caitlyn Jenner, 65, is moving too fast appeared first on Gay Star News.
Greg Hernandez
www.gaystarnews.com/article/raven-symone-29-thinks-caitlyn-jenner-65-is-moving-too-fast/
Why Conservatives Should Shut Up And Accept Marriage Equality
Why Conservatives Should Shut Up And Accept Marriage Equality
Here’s one advantage to federally recognized marriage equality even the staunchest conservative should be able to get behind: an end to government spending on obstructing the arc of the moral universe.
And we’re not talking chump change. In just one case, The Detroit Press reports the sate of Michigan has essentially lit $2 million in taxpayer cheddar on fire in its fruitless quest to prevent April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse and any couple like them (you know, gay ones) from getting married or adopting children. And that’s not even including what it cost them to argue against the plaintiffs.
DeBoer and Rowse’s lawyers are asking a judge to require the state to cough up for the six lawyers, plus seven law clerks, multiple paralegals and experts from Boston, New York, San Francisco and Lansing it took to win the case, which dragged on for three years.
The suit was even presented as part of the argument against state bans on same-marriage in the Supreme Court case. Good going, Michigan.
“This says we are people. We are establishing families and we’re just like everyone else,” Rowse said of the SCOTUS decision, according to MLive. “We’re the next door neighbor, we’re your co-worker, we’re your sister, we’re your friend, we’re your child, and we do deserve the same rights as everyone else and our kids deserve the same rights. We’re starting to see the discrimination just shouldn’t be there.”
In January, The Detroit Press reported that Michigan faced a mid-year deficit of $325 million.
How many other pointless and costly battles have they been fighting?
h/t RawStory
Dan Tracer
News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes
News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes
> Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking join call for ban on artificially intelligent weapons.
> Australia’s Labor Party says it will bind federal MPs to vote for same-sex marriage after the next two elections.
> New York magazine features powerful image of the “unwelcome sisterhood” of Bill Cosby’s accusers.
> Mayor of northern Russian city of Arkhangelsk breaks promise to LGBT community, rejects request for pride parade.
> Shocker: Donald Trump’s surge heavily reliant on less-educated, racist Americans.
> Caitlyn Jenner pens emotional blog post about the plight of trans suicide. “And it’s not because trans people are somehow inherently unstable – it’s because we live in a world that makes it very, very difficult to be trans. Many people, especially kids, can’t see how they can live as their authentic selves and keep their family, their jobs and their homes.”
> Male model Monday: Justice Joslin.
> Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Scott Walker vie to become Koch brothers puppets.
> Rick Perry wants you to bring your guns into movie theaters.
> Amanda Bynes surfaces in public to attend fashion show.
> Turns out Henry Cavill won’t be joining Fifty Shades Darker after all.
> Snoop Dog got arrested in Sweden over the weekend.
> Obama slams GOP criticism of Iran nuclear deal as “ridiculous” and “sad.”
> Nearly 1 billion Android phones can be hacked with a single text.
> Bobbi Kristina Brown’s autopsy finds no significant injuries and no underlying cause of death.
> Dan Savage on the “not gay men” who have “not gay sex” with other “not gay men.”
> 23 Pixels reviews that are more fun than the movie itself.
The post News: Bill Cosby, Stephen Hawking, Androids, Amanda Bynes appeared first on Towleroad.
Kyler Geoffroy
being a bad num
Millennial Men Should Stop Worrying About Penis Size, Survey Suggests
Millennial Men Should Stop Worrying About Penis Size, Survey Suggests
Does penis size really matter? According to many young women, it doesn’t at all.
In a survey conducted by Cosmopolitan, 1,100 readers between the ages of 18 and 34 were polled on various sex topics from penis size to orgasms. Of those polled, 96 percent were women and 4 percent were men, and it turns out many of them — 89 percent to be exact — aren’t too worried about their partner’s penis size.
They also were pretty realistic when it came to the average penis. Fifty-two percent said the average man’s flaccid penis is 3 to 4 inches, and 51 percent said the average man’s erect penis is 5 to 6 inches. According to the survey, the average lengths are 3.5 and 5.1 inches, respectively.
As for their sex lives, 31 percent of survey participants said they don’t always orgasm from penetration during sex, but regularly do, while 33 percent said it was rare.
So what about their sexual satisfaction? That could use some work. Fifty-three percent said they want their sex lives to be better, and 6 percent said they weren’t satisfied at all.
So, straight dudes, don’t worry too much about your size — just make sure you know what your partner wants.
Check out more from Cosmopolitan’s survey below.
H/T Cosmopolitan
Also on HuffPost:
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Wooden Tranquility clock unites traditional skills and modern design
Wooden Tranquility clock unites traditional skills and modern design
Looking at recent collections of major furniture retailers, the times of clocks being ignored as pieces of design are well and truly over, with more and more people looking for unique pieces.
Cue the Tranquility Wooden Gear Clock – made entirely from wood, it features traditional mechanics needing to be wound up regularly.
It’s unusual frame, made from either maple or cherry wood, incorporates and highlights the unusual, grasshopper-type escapement, available in maple, cherry or walnut.
Modeled after the famous 1722 design by English clockmaker John Harrison, the escapement’s hinged arms catch and release the escape wheel teeth, turning the clock into an immediate eye catcher.
The grasshopper mechanics offer a stunning insight into traditional clockmaking skills.
Handmade in the USA, the Tranquility clock is available as a ready-to-assemble kit or as a pattern, to be directly applied onto the work piece before being cut out with a scroll saw.
Despite being made from something as sensitive to environmental changes as wood, the clock usually doesn’t require regular maintenance beyond being wound up; it also maintains accuracy to within one minute over the course of several days.
Priced at $174 (€156.48, £111.62) for the full kit and $29 (€26.08, £18.60) for the plans – with other options available, including laser-cut gears – the clock is available directly through Wooden Gear Clocks’ website.
To get an impression of what the Tranquility clock looks like when its mechanics are working, watch the video below:
The post Wooden Tranquility clock unites traditional skills and modern design appeared first on Gay Star News.
Stefanie Gerdes
www.gaystarnews.com/article/wooden-tranquility-clock-unites-traditional-skills-and-modern-design/
Top Five Most Powerful Moments from “I am Cait” Premiere
Top Five Most Powerful Moments from “I am Cait” Premiere
Last night, people across the country tuned in to watch the premiere of “I am Cait,” E! network’s documentary series on Caitlyn Jenner.
HRC.org
Awkward! Guy Hits On 100 Random Guys. How Many Numbers Does He Get?
Awkward! Guy Hits On 100 Random Guys. How Many Numbers Does He Get?
If a cute guy approached you on the street and asked for your number, would you give it to him?
That’s the question one British YouTuber tackles in his latest social experiment aptly titled “Guy Asks 100 Guys For Their Number.” It’s a ballsy move if nothing else. Over the course of the exercise he approaches men regardless of if he thinks they’re gay or straight.
To be honest, we expected him to strike out completely — who gives their number to a complete stranger with no other context?! But in the end he proves that dating really is a numbers game, scoring a fairly impressive 13 sets of digits.
By comparison, when he did the same experiment with women, he only got five.
Watch below:
Dan Tracer
