Michael Sam Signed by St. Louis Rams

The first openly gay man drafted by the NFL was offered a four-year, $2.65 million contract.

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Annie Hollenbeck

www.advocate.com/sports/2014/06/13/michael-sam-signed-st-louis-rams

Playing in the Spaces
In Harvey Fierstein’s Tony-nominated play, Casa Valentina, men embody women. Or rather they reveal themselves through women’s clothing, mannerisms and identities. Set in 1962 and based on real events at a Catskills resort, the story follows (self-identified) straight men who escape the constraints of their everyday lives through opposite gender identifications. Under the masterful direction of Joe Mantello, the varied, mellifluous, and vibrant ways these men come to life as their alter egos emboldens us to question the word identity itself. And the roles gender plays in it.

As psychoanalyst Adrienne Harris writes, “Some… are caught up in the losses and emptiness of identity, some in the deep enmeshment of body and psyche, and some in the sliding and playful paradoxes of performance and authenticity.“

The men in the play are initially caught up in the deep enmeshment of body and psyche, as their coherence as a group depends upon strict rules when dressed in their female embodiments: e.g., they must address each other by their chosen female names. This doesn’t leave room for recognizing the losses and emptiness of identity, as we witness the novice newcomer, Jonathan, getting ignored as (s)he makes her/his virginal entrance as “Miranda,” fumbling to the dinner table unkempt. But when Miranda attempts to make a coy exit, empathy and a strong sense of play spontaneously take hold of the seasoned cross dressers. They all agree to give her a makeover together, emphasizing the playful paradoxes of performance and authenticity with regard to identity, despite their rules.

And here is where the production becomes magical, luring us into the characters’ secret, enchanted world; their “Garden of Eden,” as one of them refers to it. This is not RuPaul’s Drag Race; they are not trying to outperform one another. During this sequence you get the sense that these men-as-women are being rather than doing. As each of them delights in decorating Miranda in their own unique, authentic, and playful way, we begin to forget who’s a man, who’s a woman, and who cares. One could appreciate here Adrienne Harris’ suggestion that gender is not rigid, fixed or binary, but rather that it is “softly assembled.” We become absorbed in the the shared playfulness among the characters, particularly in the ways they shower Miranda/Jonathan with loving recognition. As Harris writes, “There is a deep expansiveness that comes from recognition and belonging, and there are the quirky spurts and frissons when the unexpected, the transgressive, the novel emerge into view.“

But as with any story with a “Garden of Eden,” a snake must slither in to keep things real. Before dinner is over, the game of dress-up becomes one of Axis and Allies as a discussion about a rule to ban gays from joining their revelry fractures the group. The two leaders rigidly defend the “no queer’s allowed” policy, effectively turning the soft light of their rarefied, idyllic play space into one more common and harsh.

Founding psychoanalyst Melanie Klein’s theories may help to explain this split between “good” straight crossdressers and “bad” gay men. As I have written elsewhere, Klein theorized that in states of anxiety — such as being a “straight” man who feels the need to secretly dress as a woman — we split self and other. We create a them-versus-us, pushing away feelings of vulnerability, dependency and need. In such moments, we fail to hold both “good” and “bad” feelings — we continue to split and project rigid notions of “good” versus “bad,” “masculine” versus “feminine,” “straight” versus “gay.” A current example of such splitting is the palpable transphobia that runs through the LGBTQ communities.

The climax of Casa Valentina erupts in Act II, during a festive dance party when one of the men kisses Miranda, causing her to instantly split by turning back into Jonathan with an aggressive, defensive, punch. The party is over.

In 1991, nearly 30 years after the play takes place, psychoanalyst Virginia Goldner argued that “gender coherence, consistency, conformity, and identity are culturally mandated normative ideals” and that “to conform to their dictates requires the activation of a false-self system.” The play makes this point as its unsettling conflicts are born out of the characters’ rigid conformity to normative ideals, causing them to uphold a brittle, ultimately destructive, “false” sense of self: e.g., as unquestionably “straight” men by day and as women with entirely different biographies by night. They could take a page from Goldner, who suggests that “the ability to tolerate the ambiguity and instability of gender categories is more [desirable] than the goal of ‘achieving’ a single, pure, sex-appropriate view of oneself.” Twenty some odd years after Goldner penned her article we are still in need of its message.

Thinking back on the enchanting, dreamy delights of the play’s Act I reminds us that the characters had within them the capacity to tolerate the ambiguity of gender categories that Goldner envisions. To “stand in the spaces” between genders, to invoke psychoanalyst Philip Bromberg, or as I say, to play in the spaces: maintain reverie while also embracing the painful need to negotiate self states. How can we find this capacity within ourselves?

Perhaps playing in the spaces becomes possible when play is inclusive (of men, straight or gay, and of women, however they dress, behave or identify). When Jonathans are allowed to wear dresses and heels without being forced to be called Miranda. When unkempt rookies can be engaged — playfully, empathically — without the shaming pressure of being either a dapperly dressed man or a glamorously dressed woman and nothing in between. When play can take the form of a mellifluous dance of various bodies, minds, experiences, conflicts, and identifications, all at the same time, without having to crescendo to one abrupt, violent, necessarily definitive climax. Such a climax makes for an evocative ending to a great, thought provoking play, but as inspiration for our own lives we might look to the gauzy-lit, ambiguous, revelry, of Casa Valentina‘s Act I.

The piece first appeared in Mark’s column Quite Queerly on PsychologyToday.com.

www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-oconnell-lcsw/playing-in-the-spaces_b_5492131.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Towleroad Guide to the Tube #1599

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2014/06/towleroad-guide-to-the-tube-1599-1.html

Wis. Marriages Likely to Halt Today

A federal judge will probably to allow the state to continue enforcing its same-sex marriage ban while her ruling against it is appealed.

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Trudy Ring

www.advocate.com/politics/marriage-equality/2014/06/13/wis-marriages-likely-halt-today

Celebrities Show Heart for amfAR's Inspiration Gala (VIDEO)

This week, The Foundation of AIDS Research (amfAR) held their 5th annual Inspiration Gala at the beautiful Plaza Hotel in New York City to raise funds and awareness for their continuing dedication to end the global AIDS epidemic through the support of AIDS research, HIV prevention, treatment education, and the advocacy of sound AIDS-related public policy.

The flawless Josh Wood-produced black-tie event, hosted by actor Josh Duhamel, attracted celebrities of the fashion and entertainment world including Orange Is The New Black actress Laverne Cox, European Editor-at-Large of American Vogue Hamish Bowles, Grammy Award winner Fergie and actor Zachary Quinto. After a few cocktails, guests were presented with a menswear designer fashion show featuring male models Alex Lundqvist, Tyson Beckford & The Stenmark Twins in original print-themed looks by Ferragamo, Thom Browne and Mr. Turk. After the runway show, guests dined with amfAR Chairman Kenneth Cole and amfAR CEO Kevin Frost for a live auction to further contribute to the $388 million already raised by amfAR since being founded in 1985 by Dr. Mathilde Krim. Sarah Jessica Parker presented an Inspiration Award to HBO President of Programming Michael Lombardo, while Matt Bomer, star of HBO’s The Normal Heart, honored Calvin Klein for their support and contribution to the foundation which was accepted by the companies Men’s Creative Designer Italo Zucchelli and Womans’s Creative Designer Francisco Costa. The HRH Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway was also honored by Vogue Italia Editor-In-Chief Franca Sozzani. The gala was highlighted by a performance from the band New Order.

The gala is a reminder that although much progress has been made, the disease still affects millions around the world from all walks of life and has killed an estimated 21.8 million including 4.3 million children under 15. The Normal Heart may have educated us on how events unfolded when the virus first became known but, as one of the world’s leading nonprofit organizations, amfAR celebrates its success in funding more than 3,300 grants to researchers around the world working to find a cure. amfAR’s undeniable accomplishments in helping to provide the 36 million people living with AIDS today with the medicines to live a longer and healthier life gives hope that there is an end to such a crisis.

amfAR’s “Countdown to a Cure for AIDS” is a research initiative is designed to intensify amfAR’s cure-focused HIV research programs and aimed at finding cure for HIV by 2020. Until then, the organization continues to host events around the world.

www.amfar.org

www.huffingtonpost.com/daniel-garofali/amfar-inspiration-gala-20_b_5483001.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Activists warn of trans suicide risk in England as surgery delayed

Leading surgeon leaves NHS, increasing gender surgery wait times. Even patients with complications after their operation face delays

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trisrs

www.gaystarnews.com/article/activists-warn-trans-suicide-risk-england-surgery-delayed130614

This Guy Tried To Buy Sex With A Salad; It Didn’t Go So Well

It’s one of the oldest pickup lines in the book — “I’ll give you a salad from Applebee’s if you blow me.”

Works for me every time, especially if I add grilled chicken and a miso dressing. And that’s not a euphemism.

But unfortunately for Alonzo Liverman of Daytona Beach, FL, all he got for his leafy greens were a short stint in jail and a $500 fine when he propositioned an undercover police officer with the deal.

It was all part of a reverse prostitution sting operation by the Daytona police force, which seems like a waste of time, energy and money if you ask me.

So the guy wanted a BJ for a salad, what’s the big deal?

At least he’s promoting good nutrition.

Via Orlando Sentinal

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/elZrLmu3UmA/this-guy-tried-to-buy-sex-with-a-salad-it-didnt-go-so-well-20140613

Wrestling Legend Pat Patterson Comes Out as Gay: VIDEO

Andy Towle

www.towleroad.com/2014/06/wrestling-legend-pat-patterson-comes-out-as-gay-video.html