Guatemalan Trans Woman Released After Harrowing Six Months in Immigration Detention

Guatemalan Trans Woman Released After Harrowing Six Months in Immigration Detention

Nicoll Hernández-Polanco’s experiences of sexual assault and solitary confinement are a prime example of how the immigration system mistreats trans women, say advocates.

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Mitch Kellaway

www.advocate.com/immigration/2015/05/04/guatemalan-trans-woman-released-after-harrowing-six-months-immigration-detent

Love in Morocco, If You Dare

Love in Morocco, If You Dare
Last September, Ray Cole, a 69-year-old man from the UK, was arrested while on vacation in Marrakech and served a jail term of four months. During his internment, he was fed boiled vegetables once a day and slept on a concrete floor of a prison dormitory designed for 44 but was housing 60. His family didn’t know where he was; Cole’s son Adrian told The Guardian that Moroccan officials “had been reluctant” to even confirm where the senior Cole was, much less incarcerated. It was as if he had just been plucked off the street and vanished — which, to a certain degree, he was.

Eventually, and inevitably, this made it to the British Foreign Office, and from there, to halls of Parliament in London. Conservative MP Charlie Elphicke picked up Cole’s cause, and warned that British tourists had to fear for their safety if they set foot in Morocco.

In a statement, Elphicke said: “I have been doing all I can to help free Mr. Cole from these appalling charges. I am deeply concerned about his safety and it is clear that if you visit Morocco you are at serious risk of facing trumped up charges for medieval crimes. The message is clear — Morocco is not safe for British tourists.

“I am gravely concerned by the state of Moroccan prisons, and the care and the safety he will have in jail. I’m raising it with ministers, asking them to intervene more directly on his behalf. It is a shocking and appalling situation for a British national to be in and it is really important to get him back to the UK.”

The story soon went viral across Europe, and he was eventually freed.

Cole, so you know, is gay. He had come out a few years before his trip to Marrakech. But ironically, even though he was charged with “homosexual acts,” he was not caught in flagrante delicto. No arrests in a bathhouse or hammam or even a raid on an underground party. The authorities allegedly found incriminating photos on his phone. But how did they even know those photos were there to begin with? How did anyone know he was gay? What set all this off?

Cole was a man in love. He had gone to Morocco to meet Jamal Jam Wald Nass, 20, whom he begun a relationship online several months previously. Nass, who was released sometime later, was known by authorities to be gay, or at least, very heavily suspected of such in a country where homosexuality is illegal. So when he showed on the sidewalk with another guy (whose age difference would make even New Yorkers do a double-take), it wasn’t hard for the police to put two and two together even if nothing was “going on.” In they swooped.

After that very long set-up, I should say that this article is not about the Moroccan legal system, or even its draconian views on same-sex relationships — those are their own articles. Rather, it is a very practical, if on the surface cruel, highlight to not get involved with natives.

Let me explain. You may remember the Google commercial “Parisian Love” documenting an expat’s romance with a Frenchwoman with whom he lives happily ever after in Paris. Very sweet. But the fact of the matter is that we do not live in Google (although we try) or France (although we try). But while a little Franco-American action never hurt anyone, there are some countries where you take your life into your hands getting into a same-sex relationship.

And it is not just Morocco, which is actually one of the more liberal Muslim countries in the Arab world. It goes without saying that Muslim nations, even those Europe (Bosnia & Herzegovina, Kosovo) are hostile to gays and lesbians. But a few go even further and try to root us out, using spy tactics and even double agents.

It’s called different things in different countries. In Saudi Arabia, it is Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice; Afghanistan has the similarly-named Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. Most often, they are simply called “mutaween.” Whatever the name, they are the morality-enforcing religious police, responsible for upholding the religious tenets of Islam. Hijabs on women, beards on men, no alcohol, no mingling between men and women — different states may have different variations, but these organizations are pervasive wherever they are. As a Westerner, or even if you are from the Far East, you will stick out like a sore thumb regardless, and you will be, if not watched directly, “paid attention to.” As is anybody you are with. Gay sex is about as apostate as it gets, and with the Internet of Everything, it’s not hard to do a little espionage on Grindr. And long before you get there, natives suspected of being gay or lesbian may already be on a watch list. You will be adding a spark to the powder.

Not all Muslim countries have mutaween (officially). Lebanon does not, the United Arab Emirates does not, Oman does not (good thing, the sultan is widely regarded as being gay). But it’s not just Muslim countries: Russia and Uganda are good examples where any sort of public same-sex affection, or same-sex affection made public, is in all practical terms a death sentence for all involved, no Islam needed. Instead of instituting an organization to do it, the populace itself is just encouraged to keep tabs on you, North Korea-style.

Even progressive countries have their hurdles: a gay man in Japan, Taiwan, or Thailand may still marry a woman simply because of social pressure to continue the family line, and leave you out in the cold or worse, in permanent second place. I would love to say that love conquers all, but however rueful it may be to say it, that just isn’t the case all the time.

There is a general rule among travel professionals that falling in love internationally has more than a few pitfalls. Let’s ignore the dangerous places outright, and look at France, or Iceland, or Argentina. Yes, there is the romance of it all, the “foreign affair,” but forget the whole idea of what you see in movies, dime novels, or Google commercials.

There are a lot of cons out there, including emotional ones. Some potential Romeos may not want you but want what you are, still thinking that marrying an American is no-fail gate to citizenship (after 9/11, it isn’t). There is the very straightforward realization that when you are on vacation, the “relationship” — such as it is — already has a termination date. There is also a big difference between a relationship built over time and one still in that heady 72 hours of the initial meeting, i.e., love vs. lust.

The whole point of a vacation is to go and enjoy yourself. Do that how you will. But however great the temptation (or the thrill of almost getting caught) with this totally hot guy you just met, keep your feet on the ground. Keeping everything in its proper context might actually make the moment even sweeter, and create even fonder memories. And a reason to go back.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/dane-steele-green/love-in-morocco-if-you-dare_b_7205218.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

Fox News Contributor Guy Benson Comes Out Of The Closet, Inspires Nobody

Fox News Contributor Guy Benson Comes Out Of The Closet, Inspires Nobody

Screen Shot 2015-05-04 at 3.20.13 PMGuy Benson is a 30-year-old Fox News contributor and political editor of the right-wing news site Townhall.com, and he’s just come out of his log cabin closet.

In a book he coauthored called End of Discussion: How the Left’s Outrage Industry Shuts Down Debate, Manipulates Voters, and Makes America Less Free (and Fun) [editor’s note: gag], Benson writes, “Guy Here. So, I’m gay.”

In an interview with Buzzfeed ahead of the book’s release, he said, “Gay rights is not something that dominates my attentions or my passions,” maintaining that his gayness is less of a cultural identifier as it is purely biological.

Related: Hear From Closeted Gay Republicans Cruising Grindr At CPAC

And there’s certainly something to be said for that position. Nobody is one thing, least of all their sexuality. But that argument does start to weaken when, as a man who happens to be gay, Benson chooses to champion those who directly oppose a group that, like it or not, he counts himself a member of.

“That may seem incongruous, that may seem counterintuitive to a lot of people,” he said. “But the issues that I care about most undergird the reasons why I’m a conservative and have been forever and will be a conservative moving forward.”

Related: The Republican Presidential Wannabes Are Already Running On Homophobia

He insists that he’s so focused on the big picture, gay rights pale in comparison. He mentions Iran and Obamacare chief among his concerns, adding that calling gay conservatives “self-loathing” is, “extraordinarily closed-minded and betrays a lack of imagination, at the very least.”

“A free-thinking, free citizen of a free country is not obliged to be confined to a bedazzled ideological straitjacket because that’s how they ‘ought’ to think and ‘ought’ to vote and ‘ought’ to rank their priorities.”

Speaking to the fact that the majority of his party would like to see same-sex marriage outlawed, he said, “You need that base, you need your core voters to turn out to win elections,” adding that “the vast majority” of that base “are not bigots.”

Related: Colorado Republicans Prove Dangerous To Queer Youth Despite National Call To End Ex-Gay Therapy

He calls the Republican gay issue an “obstacle,” but doesn’t seem to care one way or the other what the outcome of the Supreme Court case will be, though he maintains he’s “as fascinated as anyone to see how it plays out,” adding, “I don’t feel like I’m going to become particularly activist on any of this stuff.”

It would be one thing if the two major parties differed on specifics of gay rights, but the fact that Republicans have been running for decades on homophobia makes us inclined to sweep Benson and his anti-gay apologizing rhetoric out with the rest of the garbage.

Dan Tracer

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/tSMaiHARiNs/fox-news-contributor-guy-benson-comes-out-of-the-closet-inspires-nobody-20150504

What To Watch This Week On TV: Fonda and Tomlin Bond Over Gay Husbands

What To Watch This Week On TV: Fonda and Tomlin Bond Over Gay Husbands

Grace-and-frankie-2

Check out our weekly guide to make sure you’re catching the big premieres, crucial episodes and the stuff you won’t admit you watch when no one’s looking.

— Legendary actresses Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin unite for the new Netflix comedy, Grace and Frankie, available to binge watch Friday. The series reunites the 9 To 5 co-stars as two women who come to depend on one another once their husbands (played by Martin Sheen and Sam Waterson) leave them to become lovers.

A lethal lip sync, action in Essos, and more TV this week, AFTER THE JUMP

 

— After last week’s lazy lip sync on RuPaul’s Drag Race, tonight’s final two will stomp the runway down, trust us. The dance-heavy episode puts the remaining queens through the ringer, culminating in a fan-favorite face-off. See who emerges victorious tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern on Logo.

 

— A trans character takes the spotlight in tonight’s episode of Banana, the anthology companion program to Russell T Davies’ Cucumber. Trans actress Bethany Black plays Helen as she deals with a jealous ex. Catch the episode at 11 p.m. Eastern on Logo.

 

— Learn more about Hawaii’s mahu, people who embody both male and female spirits on tonight’s Independent Lens, 10 p.m. Eastern on PBS. The documentary Kumu Hina follows Hawaiian transgender teacher Hina Wong-Kalu as she gets to know mahu sixth-grader Ho’onanani.

— Between Jaime in Dorne, Tyrion’s trip across the sea and the uprising in Meereen, there’s a lot of action happening in Essos on Game of Thrones. Sunday at 9 p.m. Eastern on HBO, Tyrion catches a glimpse of Drogon, as he and Jorah Mormont head towards Meereen, while Sansa works to maneuver her new life in Winterfell with Roose & Ramsay Bolton. Check out our recap for the latest episode here!

What are you watching on TV this week?


Bobby Hankinson

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/-what-to-watch-this-week-on-tv-fonda-and-tomlin-bond-over-gay-husbands.html

What These Students Have Learned About Dating After 4 Years Of College

What These Students Have Learned About Dating After 4 Years Of College
For David Matteson, a sex columnist and graduating senior at Rollins College, four years of college has given him a new perspective on dating.

“I’ve realized a lot. I’ve gone through a really hard break-up and come out of that and realized, OK, I was so invested in this model for so long and I was seeking fulfillment in that way, and it just isn’t satisfying,” Matteson said in a recent HuffPost Live segment. “It produces so much anxiety in me. [I would ask], is he going to call? Are we going to be together? Are we going to get married? I spent so much of my time focusing my energy on that.”

One of the lessons Matteson learned: “The real loves were the people I became friends with. Those were the people who saw me through everything, and I’m so thankful for my friends.”

Fellow sex columnist Reina Gattuso said that her college experience has taught her how to tackle “awkward conversations” in a relationship and begin “advocating” for herself. The Harvard University senior said that friendships have become a priority for her as well.

“As I graduate, I’m so in love with my friends. I’m so in love with my roommates. I’m so in love with the people I interact with everyday in the dining hall,” Gattuso said, before joking, “Now my ideal relationship would be just some friends I can make out with occasionally, but we’ll see if that happens in the real world.”

Watch the full HuffPost Live conversation about college relationships here.

Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live’s new morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/04/students-dating-college_n_7207354.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices

What Do You Do When Your Total Top Boyfriend Refuses To Bottom?

What Do You Do When Your Total Top Boyfriend Refuses To Bottom?

tumblr_nb1jcjFM0x1rczqluo1_1280A gay man recently wrote into sex advice columnist Pamela Stephenson Connolly at the U.K.’s The Guardian about the frustrations he’s feeling over his total top boyfriend who absolutely refuses to bottom.

“I am a 28-year-old gay man,” the man writes. “In previous relationships I was — mainly — the top. I have been with my current partner for two years and in this relationship I have only been the bottom, as my partner has a fear of it.”

Related: “Looking” Opens Our Minds—And Other Body Parts—To The Subject of “Anal Shame”

“I am very frustrated, and have contemplated cheating, which fills me with guilt,” the man continues. “I love him very much, but feel as though we are incompatible on this basic level.”

That sounds like quite a predicament, and one many gay men have no doubt faced at some point in their lives. Luckily, Pamela Stephenson Connolly is an expert when it comes to these sorts of things.

“”Your feelings about sexual bottoming are perfectly valid,” she writes. “A conversation about fairness, in which you honestly express your feelings and ask for change, is needed.”

Connolly continues: “Try to delve into the metaphoric meanings of topping and bottoming for both of you. Once you feel truly understood, attempt to renegotiate that contract, expressing yourself calmly and clearly. If there is an impasse, discuss other options, including outside arrangements.”

Related: Five Things You Should Know About Your Ass

“But note,” Connolly concludes, “in consensual sex, the person bottoming is in control (psychologically topping, since he has the power to withdraw his permission). Do you really want to give that up?”

What advice would you give this man in dealing with his sexually stubborn boyfriend? Sound off in the comments section below.

Graham Gremore

feedproxy.google.com/~r/queerty2/~3/_Maaj7ziQr4/what-do-you-do-when-your-total-top-boyfriend-refuses-to-bottom-20150504

Homophobic Russian MP Vitaly Milonov Ordered Not To Obstruct Gay Pride March: VIDEO

Homophobic Russian MP Vitaly Milonov Ordered Not To Obstruct Gay Pride March: VIDEO

Parade

Vitaly Milonov, the conservative Russian member of Parliament responsible for crafting Russia’s gay propaganda law, wanted to interfere with the gay pride parade set to take place in St. Petersburg on May Day. Thanks to St. Petersburg police authorities, he wasn’t able to. Some 90,000 pro-gay marchers took to Nevsky Prospect last Friday to gather in peaceful protest, calling for LGBTQ equality.

MilonovMilonov (right) and a group of fellow right wing conservatives attempted to organize a counter protest and block the queer marchers, claiming that they were in violation of Russia’s law banning positive depictions of gay people. Milonov included minors in his counter protest in order to argue that those marching in the pride parade were purposefully hurting the children with their presence.

Local authorities tasked with maintaining security during the gay pride parade weren’t buying Milonov’s reason for gathering and were explicit in telling them to leave. Milonov’s group was ordered to let the gay pride procession makes its way through the city unobstructed, though the crowd of bigots made sure to trail the pride marchers.

Check out footage of the St. Petersburg protests AFTER THE JUMP

 

 


Charles Pulliam-Moore

www.towleroad.com/2015/05/homophobic-russian-mp-vitaly-milonov-ordered-not-to-obstruct-gay-pride-march.html